A Blog By Ruben Stanley (aka Patrick Bingham)

Greetings my friends! I'm glad you've joined me. My blog reveals the secrets and the lies within the pages of Zombacter: Center City Contagion. This pile of rubbish was put forth by my nemesis, Professor Jake Northrop, under one of his pseudonyms. He's done these things to discredit and destroy me but I will have you know the truth. I will show you the day by day happenings in the Potterfield Bioengineering Facility that led to the tragic Center City Contagion. I will take you on a journey of pain. Pain that I endured during my transformation into what I am today. Pain that will never end and it is ALL JAKE NORTHROP'S FAULT!


I'm Feeling Much Better Now

I’ve been very sick the past week, but thankfully, I believe the worst has past. I should’ve gone back to the doctor but I waited too long. It was stupid of me. I thought I was going to die.

I got scared one night when my fever was hovering around 105. I must’ve been delusional because there were maggots devouring the flesh from my arms. I tried to call for help but I couldn’t. That was the most horrible feeling. I even imagined texting Jennifer for help but after screwing with the phone all night I figured out I was actually holding the T.V. remote. Next thing I knew I found myself in the shrubs of the apartment complex. I don’t know how I ended up walking down 3 flights of stairs without killing myself.

I’m so dehydrated. I lay in a puddle of sweat and excrement for the past 3 days. I’m a mess. Good news though, the infection creeping up my arm has all but disappeared! It looks pretty normal now... except for the strange lavender splotches on the sides of my arms. They look a little like pinpricks, as if the capillaries have burst just beneath my skin. My eyes are bloodshot from straining so hard when I was puking. They're a bit cloudy too and that's weird. I’m sure they’ll clear up now that my fever is gone and I'm re-hydrating.

Let's see...taking my vitals now as I type...Jesus I'm pale.
This can’t be right. Piece of crap digital thermometer! 93 degrees, really? Great, who knows what my temperature was when I had a fever! Whatever, I’m feeling much better now and tomorrow I’m going to call Jennifer and let her know I’m alright. I keep texting her but she doesn’t answer. She’s probably asleep. It's late. Funny, I’m not tired at all. 

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Rube-y! Rube-y! Rube-y! LOL! Probably got that in high school a lot when the movie came out. Yeah. So I saw you posted about the excrement thing and wanted to say we had the same thing with my granddad. No problemo! Depends are neat because it's like their absorption incorporates lazy into the fiber. I shouldn't tell you this, but after Mary went Splittsville on account that she's a total WITCH!! (Sorry. I'm better. Mostly over it.) Anyway, I didn't want to leave the apartment for days either, so I went to Walgreens grabbed up some depends and figured I would do a Smokey and the Bandit marathon: just back-to-back-to-back. Never left the couch. Well I mean I did later. And, after a hot bat, the stains on the backside were gone, and I think the smell is mostly gone as well. From the apartment, I mean. Well, and me. Both.